Today I am stressed. But not in the way that I stress until I get things done. No, that would have been too easy. I stressed the fact that I didnt want to work on my thesis proposal and that the deadline was coming up. I was stressing about the fact that I didnt have most of it done and that the parts I did have done were not well versed or polished. I have no idea what I'm doing.
I questioned why I am applying to get a PhD after I started and decided I didnt want to get my PhD because it was going to be too much work. Why am I putting so much effort into this for something I didnt really want to do, to begin with? Why am I stressing and putting all of my efforts into one thing when there are multiple options to continue living the way I'm doing as a doctorate dropout?
Well, I'll tell you. It's for the airplane. It's for the ocean. It's for the colorful buildings I need to see to continue living this life. It's the opportunity for shorter work days and more time for myself. It's the opportunity to get an advanced education that is recognized worldwide. ITs the opportunity to explore the world and the creation surrounding. It's the opportunity to live in history and make history and make friends from different backgrounds and cultures.
Man, What I wouldn't give to just leave now and go fly to all of these places. If only financial responsibility wasnt an issue. I would quit my job today and go fly out this afternoon if I had the funds to do that. But I should really start planning where I should go and live and visas.
Anyways, I spend the majority of the day working on my thesis proposal for IT. I spent any free time I had doing this thesis proposal and I got it done. I just needed to make sure that all spelling errors were fixed and the formatting was correct. So after working a long day at work, I went home, made my tea, and got on my home computer.
I do have a home computer but I hardly use it because I don't like sitting in a chair. The chair is not very comfortable. So I don't like doing long time work on it. But when I logged into my computer, I worked on my website and my future posts while sipping my tea, instead of working on my thesis proposal that is due on Wednesday. But it's fine because as long as I'm not falling asleep by 5 pm anymore and I'm not laying in bed or being sad, then I'm happy doing what I am doing.
Since today was mainly spent on my thesis proposal, I don't have a lot of things to say or update on. This post is short. Just make sure you're spending time doing what you enjoy doing and working on your hobbies outside of work.
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