I woke up this morning and I felt really down. I felt really sad and bad about my life. I was disappointed because I'm not where I want to be. I'm disappointed because my goals have not been met. I'm disappointed because I cannot do the things that I ache to do because of financial responsibility. I'm disappointed because I hate looking at myself in the mirror.
I woke up this morning with a fog of haze washed over me. I went through the motions of getting ready and going to work. I put on my uniform, got my coffee, drove to work, and read my book until it was time to clock in. I was going through the motions of my life but I didn't feel attached to my body. It was an out-of-body experience that made me want to crawl deeper into my hole.
I don't want to live my life this way. I want to think of my time here as happy and fun and positive. I don't want negativity to ruin the experiences I made. However, I can not very well make experiences if I keep doing the same things over and over again. If I just live my life the same way from day to day without any changes, then I will be stuck in a pattern of boring bad habits with a high likelihood of getting burnout.
So I am writing today to plan for the next 30 days. I want to become more adventurous, carefree, and most importantly - confident. Here is how I'm going to do it:
Take my vitamins: The older I get, the more appreciative I am of vitamins. Just having an extra dose of vitamin C where I need it and some energy boosters can be so much help during the day. It can increase your mood, your health, your body function, and brain function. It can help you get out of the fog you might be in and step out of your comfort zone.
Brush my teeth 2 times a day: Most people already do this. I do not. I used to but then I lost my teeth due to an accident and I find it very mentally challenging to brush my teeth. I'm challenging myself to get back into the habit of brushing my teeth 2 times a day - morning and evening.
Change it up!: I have the unfortunate opportunity to wear an all-black uniform at work (black shirt, black pants, black shoes, black jacket, etc). This isn't necessarily a bad thing because I own a lot of black clothing items. However, a lot of my leisurewear is also black. I also am very lazy and tend to put my hair up in a high bun… every day. So I'm wearing black all day every day and I have the same hairstyle every day. I am a firm believer that what you wear can have an impact on your mental health. Because of that, my mood darkens. SO imma changing it up, though I can't wear different colors, I can wear my hair in different styles, and I can put on colorful earrings or headbands. I can put on different colors of eye shadow or eyeliner for a pop of something. Changing it up is important.
Cleaning my messes: I have gotten into a horrible habit of leaving dishes in the sink for weeks on end and then have them piling up on my countertops. My goal is to make sure that my sink is empty of all dishes by the end of the night.
Tea: I want to start drinking one cup of tea every night. It's supposed to help with hydration and with sleeping. Plus if I'm going to be moving to Europe, it's important that I start developing a liking for tea.
Trying new things: I am also challenging myself to do one new thing each week. I find it incredibly difficult to have energy after work to want to do new things so I'm challenging myself to do one new thing during the weekend whether that be trying new food, going to a new restaurant, going to a new city, walking around a new park, trying out a new church group, volunteering at a place I have never volunteered before, etc.
Breaking habits that are making you feel sad, depressed, or lonely can improve your mood. I challenge you to find things that make you feel not so confident and try to change those habits. I would like you to join me in finding new healthier habits that make you more confident, beautiful, powerful, strong, and brilliant.
I'm not completely sure if I'm going to be posting every single day, because some days might be boring with little to no updates, but I'll keep you updated and I encourage you to try to grow your own confidence.
Proud of you!