*These are not written in real-time. All of the articles under the "Moving" categories are not posted in real-time. These posts have been written a few months before publishing. The title of the post in this category will be the date these posts have been written.
TODAY IS THE DAY!
I'm calling it D-day but the D stands for Decision (New girl anyone??). Today is the day I get to decide on a schooling program that will help me know where I'm going to spend the next 2 years of my life. To say that I'm feeling all kinds of emotions is an understatement. I think I'm feeling every single emotion in the book.
I'm nervous because ill be moving to a country that I have been to ONCE when I was a little kid. I'm going to move to a city I've never been to before. I'm going to move to an apartment I've never seen before, with people I've never met before. I don't know the laws on my visa, I don't know if ill am able to afford to work or if I'm able to work.
I'm excited because this is a wonderful opportunity. I'm excited because I get to do something that I love to do - learning (I'm a dork, let's move on). I get to push my social boundaries and get a chance to grow as a person. I get to challenge myself to take on every opportunity. I have the opportunity to travel more and see more of the world.
I'm sad because I’ll be away from the only homes I know. I am so far away from my friends and my family. I get to watch my nieces and nephews grow through a screen rather than in person. Communication with my family will be more complex since I'm in such a different time zone from them. I'm sad that I'm not going to be able to drive a few hours to go to holidays or birthday parties or fun family gatherings.
I'm petrified because doubt is creeping up. “What if this is not what I'm meant to do”, “what if you just quit a job you liked and enjoyed and it was a mistake”, “what if you fail and you have to come back home with your tail between your legs”, “what if…” Though I'm strong, gaining confidence and love for myself individual, what if? What if I'm not doing what I'm supposed to do.
I'm hopeful. Something about all of this, this whole experience, this wonderful opportunity has given me hope for my future. Do I know where I'll be? No. Will I succeed? No idea. But will have a blast? Probably. Will I gain a great experience? You bet. Wherever this life takes me, it'll be a magnificent, wonderful, hilariously bizarre experience for the book that I'll be able to share later with my nieces and nephews, my family, and friends.
So with all of that, I'm feeling a lot of things. Many more things than just what was discussed. Should I be making a big life decision with this many emotions? Imma say no… Am I going to do it anyway? Heck yes.
So far, I have been fully accepted into 2 colleges and I have a conditional offer that I have been waiting to turn into an unconditional offer. Of those 3 colleges, I cannot get my mind off the third college (with the conditional offer). It's located in the middle of downtown London. It's within walking distance of the bridge, the London eye, big ben, and Buckingham Palace. I'm not a big partier but if I wanted to start now, it would be in the perfect location. The rent on these apartments close to the college is also super cheap. Obviously, there are some differences between American apartments and European apartments but that doesn't really matter at this point. It's new, it's exciting. I can see myself living in a skyrise apartment in the middle of London, walking to London South Bank University, taking a trolly across the river to hang out at the queen's palace, partying it up in the middle of London, and being in the middle of all the hot party and parades.
I walked into work today with the desire to be a part of this super cool new image of myself living in London, meeting friends, maybe a guy, and living the rest of my life in this town. I fell in love with this idea of me. I have been compulsively looking at my emails every chance I got waiting for an update on my application. I just needed one simple email saying “congratulations” and I would be the newest student at this college.
I am so confident about this school. I am so confident about myself being in this school, going through this program, and this internship afterward. Yet, I'm just sitting, twiddling my thumbs waiting for this school to accept me. This is the school that I have chosen. This is the school I WILL get into. I am speaking it out loud and manifesting it.
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